I am writing a middle grade novel that is hilariously funny.
Well, that is the idea.
Right now it is a draft of a middle grade novel that has a quirky, snarky main character and is funny.
I am blessed with a writing mentor who believes in me even when I don't quite believe in myself.
My mentor told me to keep a journal about writing this story, so I could discover my process for the next book.
Yes... you read that right. My brilliant mentor believes I can be a writer, and there will be more than one book.
I didn't see the real value to this journal since I didn't think I had a writing process.
I am not sure I have an art process either.
"Process" seems like my own personal system for getting from here to there. A system? Someone who has a process is more organized than I am. How could I have a process?
I wrote the journal anyway because I have a brilliant mentor and what she says, I do.
Last night, I was thinking about 2010, about my goals. About the goals I didn't quite achieve.
Then I thought about that journal.
I decided to read it.
I made a most important discovery.
EVERY time I make any progress or when I have a good idea, I follow it up with a beating.
Yes, you read that right. A BEATING. I beat myself up. I taser myself. I tell myself that my ideas are not good enough that I am not good enough, that I don't exercise enough (I always add a body-jab during the beating).
Reading this "process" was startling.
It felt like my eight year old self having an idea and every time I raised my hand.. slap!
and I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS TO MY SELF!
I end 2010 with a new awareness,
and great freedom!
Freedom to end that cycle, today. I am letting it go because that is not going to be my process.
I am so glad I kept that journal. Seeing those words, the mean doubty words, made me own this unproductive behavior. It also made me realize I have actually gotten a lot done even as these demons
keep showing up to stop me.
Now I have a new start,
a new year
a new process!!
This process is about acceptance. This new process is about trusting my ideas are leading me deeper into the story. This process is about being thankful for all these ideas. I am deeply thankful for the ideas and for the creativity and for the space and place to nurture them.
Happy Thankful 2011!!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
We brought Gibbs home 1 year ago today!
I didn't sleep well last night, and this morning I was moving slower than my usual slow. Gibbs was up and ready to roll! He raced around the house, raced around the yard. Did his business, ate a little breakfast and ran around the house barking some more.
He ran barking at the college boys rooms and I heard mumbled, "Gibbsshutup."
He ran over to the tree that is tied to the wall and started pulling the branches with his teeth!!!
I said,"NO! Gibbs NO!!
He rang his bell to go out.
He scratched the door to come in. Out, in, out, in he kept this up over and over.
I finally decided to get showered and dressed and tried to find some energy.
By the time I came out of the room....
Gibbs was asleep in his bed!!!
I do not know what we would do without you!!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I am never shy about the terrible way I handle stress. It pushes down on my head and cuts off my oxygen supply and the only thing that saves me is something creative.
Getting the tree up and decorated was not just a creative project, but it tested our patience, my patience and since it fell down over and over and over, we had to recut the trunk, and in the end I tied it to the wall. It was a 3 hour project just to get it to stand up! In the end, I think I won, so far.
... and outside, we have just a bit of snow. I usually put wreaths in the windows, but the boys complain that they shake at night in the cold wind (and they are not willing to suffer sleep for decor-wierd).
anyway, this year I put greens, pinecones and ribbon together... I think it turned out okay and it doesn't rattle the windows! So we can all sleep.
Happy Holidays and Sweet Dreams to all!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
It has been a busy fall.
I finally was able to spend an entire day in my studio yesterday. On one hand my studio is a refuge. No phone, no internet, all my wonderful art treasures, but on the other hand I have been thinking of giving classes there. Or creating a gallery space.
I think making a community space could work also.
hmmmmm something to ponder. What do you think?
I hope you are feeling creative, because it is time to spread your wings!
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